Cade's Inbox

[onlyhymns]

[For personal threads, memos, things left in his quarters for him to stumble on, confessions of love, injunctions, jars of bees, and so forth.]

Comments

[onlyhymns]

[Cade casts a sulky glance his way, but doesn't respond immediately. Instead he takes an aggressive bite of his bread, finishing it off and then, in a gesture somehow simultaneously dainty and angry, wipes his mouth with a napkin. Then he folds his arms, continuing to glower at the table as he tries to come up with a decent response.]

...I liked you too, [he says defensively. It is also an accusation.]

[byblow]

Yes, well, [ Alistair says, starting out too sharp but then losing steam, visible in the slackening of his shoulders, ] I didn't know that.

[ And if he had it wouldn't have mattered. Even if he'd cared at that point to try to bring Cade along when he left, he probably couldn't have, and if he'd wanted to and he could have Cade may very well have died during the Joining. ]

[onlyhymns]

[As the tension leaves Alistair, it begins to leave Cade too, and then they're both sitting in awkward silence like a couple of petulant children.

After at least a minute, Cade curls his hand over his mouth, resting the weight of his head on it briefly before he speaks again.]

I wish you had stayed.

[byblow]

[ After all of his hard work catching his berry, Alistair dumps it off the spoon and instead cleaves it in half against the inside edge of his bowl, like it's done something to warrant execution. ]

So we could keep not talking for a couple of years until you were sent off to the Marches or I got stashed somewhere I couldn't embarrass anyone?

[onlyhymns]

[At this, Cade slumps a little further. He can't argue with it, and he can't articulate the Feelings he is trying to convey. He's bad at this whole friendship thing. If that's what this is?]

No...

[His answer is timid, almost apologetic. He squares his shoulders, trying to think of a better response. When Alistair starts being quippy, it's hard to find one.]

[byblow]

[ Alistair eyes him; pressing the point any further would be unsportsmanlike, most likely, especially when what's on the tip of his tongue is at least you were more interested in killing mages than I was, but he doesn't know what else to say. He lands on honesty— ]

I don't know what you want me to say.

[ —but he probably wouldn't say it if he did. ]

[onlyhymns]

I... don't either.

[Cade drums his fingers on the tabletop, once, then again. He frowns.]

I'm just... [Pausing, he battles with the sentence for a while. What is he trying to say, anyway?]

...glad you're here.

[byblow]

Considering the alternative, [ Alistair says, which means me too, and gives Cade a light, companionable kick under the table. ]

[onlyhymns]

[A small smile, and then a hesitantly returned kick. Cade looks nervous and glances at Alistair after he does so, probably just making sure he didn't hurt him, because he's an uncontrollable violent monster who hurts people without trying.]